My head is full of boxes

I think the title to this posting is one of the weirder ones.

But I also think that it may be true.

I sometimes think of the information in my brain as being organized into boxes or even drawers in a filing cabinet.  These are all of the ones that are related to my family, here is some that are about my last job, and these are all of the things I think about when I think about the zoo.  They usually overlap with one another and a lot of the time I don't know which box to look in.  Then I get something like yesterday.

And I don't have a box for that bit of information.

Well, maybe there is a box but it's stuffed so far in the back I don't know what to do with it.  So I started going through some of the boxes in the back.  And it reminded me a lot about the friends I used to have.  People I've lost contact of and people that I've become....I don't know.  Afraid isn't the right word.  I guess they're people that I regret leaving behind.

I've had a few friends in my life.  I think I may have a handful right now.  But my depression, and low self-esteem, and social anxiety have kept me away.  I've kind of been afraid to open the boxes in the back because I know what is in some of them hurt.  So I don't open any of them.

So then I start thinking "maybe it's time to start dealing with that hurt".  Not with just some of the boxes but all of them.

Because I need to deal with the hurt in order to put the new information away.