Something isn't right here

I always say that my father died of old age when he was 59.  It's always felt like something I was cutting him on.  But maybe that's not the case.

My father lived his life.  Maybe he drank a lot and smoked a lot and I think he did some drugs.  But he lived.

Tonight I stopped at the store after work and bought myself a bottle of wine.   I thought "I feel good when I drink some".  I'm not trying to get over something.  I'm not trying to not feel something.  But when I have a little bit I feel pretty good.

And that's what life is about really.  To feel good and to be happy.

I don't think I've been giving my father enough credit.