Self recognition

I'm angry.

I don't think their is anything that I'm angry about, but I can tell.  The last few days I've been short with people and I've said angry things.  Fortunately I'm not a violent person.  I don't think my anger would lead to me hitting anyone (besides I think punching people in the face must hurt your hand and I'm not up with that).  I can tell this is depression related.  Probably from yo-yo medicines.

I think one of the ways that I've been able to survive lately is that I can see the difference between what is me and what is the depression.  It's taken a long time for me to get to the place where I can tell the difference but it serves me well. 

I had to become honest about who I am.  What are the good parts of me and what are my faults.  I've had to come to a place where I realize that I'm not perfect and never will be.  I'm okay with who I am.  I can be lazy, unsocial, overweight, messy, self absorbed, whiny, and my feet sometimes smell.  But deep in the place where I keep who I am, I know I'm not an angry guy.

Oh, I still get caught up in the whirlpool sometimes.  I'm worthless, or I'm angry, or I'm hyper, or I'm miserable.  Sometimes I end up drowning in my bed not able to get up.  But sometimes I can step back and see that these aren't me.

So self recognition is one of the tools in my toolbox.