I've lost all my steam. No energy. There is no desire to write. This is what the down part of depression looks like. Not the very bottom, but a "dip" down below what is normal (what is normal?).
Nothing really interests me except maybe sleep. It gets hard to be at work this way because every time I try to sleep under my desk someone finds me.
I don't want to talk to anyone, it's hard to find anything to do, I don't want to do all the work that has been piling up the last few days. Even my run on sentences aren't amusing.
I haven't shaved in a week. I'm not growing a beard on purpose; I think I've just been too lazy lately. Man I hope my son doesn't have a lot of homework tonight.
Food sometimes lifts me up a bit (approximately 2.5-7.5%). Maybe I'll run down to the snack machine downstairs. But it's so far.
Fortunately for me I know what this is. It's not me, it's the disease. I don't ever get to the point that I want to hurt myself. I don't usually want to off myself. It's just one of those hard things you have to go through and wait until you come out the other side.
It gets like a roller coaster; you just have to hold on until the ride stops.
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