Introduction:

I’ve lived a very unspectacular life.  Well, maybe that’s not fair.  I’ve lived the same life that everyone else leads.  I’m just like everyone else.  At least this is how I see it some of the time.  I guess just like most people I suffer from low self-esteem.

In my life I think I’ve always known I wanted to be a writer.  I took classes in college on creative writing.  In fact, coming out of high school I think that’s what I wanted to do.  But I didn’t.

At one point I was going to write a book about leadership.  I have always been the type of person who is and believes in leadership without authority.  The idea that you can set yourself up as an example and people will follow.  I practice what I preach and I’ve got a lot to say.  I would always get stuck.  I’m too much of a perfectionist I guess.  Or maybe it’s that I’ve never believed in myself.

I’ve tried to write a book about my life; blog stuff that I’ve written over the years, past experiences, that kind of stuff.  But if you don’t have the confidence in writing a book about leadership, something someone might want to read about, nobody is going to want to read about my crappy life.  Besides most of it has to do with the crappy things that I have a hard time dealing with.  Some of the things that sometimes I blame for screwing up my life.

I think I also would like to write a book about depression.  I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression for umpteen years.  I’ve been down in holes that I never thought I would get out of.  But life has been going good for me lately and I think I would like to use some of the ideas that have helped me to help other people.

Then I thought, let’s put it all together and see where that gets us.  The leadership, my life, and the depression I’ve gone through.  I’ll think to myself “I’m just too disorganized to put it all together”.  Again, I’m thinking too hard about it and trying to be perfect.

One thing that I’ve discovered over the (many) years is that the story of me, the depression I have, and the leadership skills that I’ve acquired all have a connection.  I couldn’t see it in the beginning but now I think I’ve figured it out.  It all comes out to being able to understand yourself.

In the process of dealing with my depression I’ve had to go through some self-discovery.  I’ve had to get to the place where I first learned how to like myself.  And I’ve had to do this by looking at my past and maybe try to analyze things in a different light.  Oh, it’s not as easy as it sounds.  But when you have depression sometimes you’ll do whatever you can to dig yourself out of a hole.

I also believe that self-discovery is very important in being a great leader.  You have to know yourself and you need your true self to come out so that others will learn to trust you.  No games.   

So now I think I’ve got it.  I know how I’m going to put it all together.